The Rikti spilled onto the streets of Steel Canyon. Citizens ran screaming, seeking cover in store fronts and office buildings. A small band of men and women in brightly colored spandex stood motionless as the horde approached. Finally, with a deafening battle cry, they charged. Electric blasts and chunks of pavement filled the air as the battle exploded, superhero versus Rikti invader. Plasma bolts melted concrete and parked cars were ripped in half. The heroes, on the verge of defeat, finally began to push back the Rikti onslaught.

“Cut,” the director yelled and the action ground to a halt.

This isn’t the real thing, but the Hollywood version of the real thing. Already this year’s most talked about film project due to the closeness of it to the real events, but even more so with the decision to film on location in Paragon City. Also on the controversial front has been a number of the casting choices, and the rewriting of history in order to make blockbuster numbers at the box office.

Many living in Paragon are well aware of how it really happened, and likely, if they bother to see this film when it releases, they won’t even recognize the events. Using the knowledge now that we have of the Rikti and the first encounters with the race through the Portal Corporation’s trips to other worlds, the story now is of a band of super villains who gain control of the Portal technology and open a doorway to the hostile world of the Rikti. A world being destroyed by invasion themselves, and from where the Rikti flee into our world for salvation.

Will Smith, cast in the role of Statesman had this to say, “When I read the script, I knew it was all wrong, but there was just something in it that made me want to do it. A triumph of the human spirit. The goodwill extended to the Rikti. I know it€™s not reality, but don’t we all wish it could have been?” And I suppose he’s right, but then, this movie really isn’t telling it like it was.

When the Rikti come through the portal, the villains attack them. In turn the Rikti become wary of any super powered individuals, attacking heroes who come to investigate some fighting. As the Rikti poor through the portal and “invade” our world, the heroes fight them to a stand still, until a Rikti child brings a message of peace to Statesman. And then together, the heroes and the Rikti fight to stop the super villains, and then to begin working on restoring the Rikti home world to its proper natural order.

Hero 1 still charges into a portal and disappears, only this time, its to fight the beings who are trying to destroy the Rikti home world, where he is killed in defense of the Rikti. Another controversial choice, Jack Black has taken this role and added some unneeded hilarity to the plight faced by his team (Heyden Christiensen, Jeff Goldblum, Halle Berry, Sting, and others). “Hey man,” he said when asked of his irreverence, “I didn’t write the script, I just do what the Rikti masters tell me.”

It was comments like these from Will and Jack that caused me to begin investigating the production of “Rikti: Not Invaders, Friends, Trust Them”. And my investigation was almost stopped on the first day, as a few “Family” came to visit and left me with a very unwelcome feeling, not to mention a black eye, a few bruised ribs, and a broken TV. I knew I was on the right track. Something fishy was going on.

I went to a scheduled interview with the movie’s star, Will Smith, at his home. Outside, I was searched by number of “made men” and monitored by some familiar looking “man made” men who whirred and clicked as they processed my image and finally opened the security gates. Mr. Smith, it seemed, had been called away for refilming of key scenes, and was not available for the interview. Left unattended while his assistant went to check Smith’s schedule, I searched the room I was in. Reaching under my belt, I withdrew a stone given to me by The Lightningale of The Midnight Avengers. I set it on the table, and spoke the phrase she had made me memorize. Instantly, the stone began to glow blue, indicating that there was a Rikti presence nearby. As Mr. Smith’s assistant returned, the stone glowed brighter and began to hum.

“Aw, what’d you have to go and do that for?” the assistant asked as his image shimmered. His body seems to melt and reform into its true alien structure. “I didn’t want to have to kill you Mr. Meeks, I really like your paper.” Not wasting anymore time, I tapped the buckle on my belt twice and jumped, crashing through the plate glass, over the balcony and into the vast emptiness of air, looking straight down on a fifty foot fall. But the belt finally kicked in and I was surrounded by a force field bubble. Eyes shut, and holding my breath, I fell to the earth below, then bounced, twice, then rolled to a stop.

The battery died then, and the force field dropped. After being thankful for the belt and the fact that I’d missed breakfast so there was nothing to vomit, I got my bearings and ran.

Similar incidents followed as I met with other cast members, the director, and the writer. At each location I was accosted by Rikti, and narrowly escaped. Every time, I was more prepared, but so were they. My luck would soon run out, I thought.

As the movie closed its production and finished its final callbacks, I knew that whatever they had planned was coming to fruition. I had to act, but first I needed backup. I called Lt. Zoe T. Blake and the Paragon City QRT. Their experience with the various problems of Paragon would prove useful, even in Hollywood.

When I called, Lt. Blake apologized immediately for blowing up my offices. “WHAT?!” I heard myself cry out. She explained that she’d gone to see me and been attacked by some men in suits. After making short work of them, she entered my offices and noticed the explosives in just enough time to dive back down the stairs to Doheeny’s Pub before the whole upper floor vanished in a violent puff of smoke. Since then, she’d been waiting for my call.

I told her what I knew so far, and with the added information from Zoe, I figured that for some reason the Family were funding the making of this film. A film that seemed to be little more than pro-Rikti propaganda. I’d been following the call sheets for the production, and had managed to overhear a few details, enough to know that they were doing final editing for the next few days at Skywalker Ranch with the assistance of George Lucas.

“Isn’t Lucas working on Star Wars III,” Zoe asked.

“Whatever is going on, its strong enough to make him set aside that atrocity for this Rikti film monstrosity. Its got to be some sort of mind control,” I mused. But I knew that nothing these days could stop George from making the final horrible chapter of his film saga. He’d probably still make his release date. “Damn,” I muttered as I hung up the phone.

Lt. Blake and twelve other members of the QRT loaded up on gear and caught the next flight out, meeting me the next afternoon on a road just outside the Skywalker Ranch. The QRT had brought with them bazookas, mortars, assault rifles, grenades, and enough explosives to level the place five or six times over. “Got enough?” I asked.

“We need to make sure Lucas is stopped,” Zoe said. “I mean, that this Rikti film is stopped, if it turns out something is wrong. I mean, oh, would it be so bad if we stopped Star Wars also?”

Leaving her without a reply, we began our reconnaissance. Sure enough, there were Family men stationed about, all equipped with modified Rikti Weaponry. “Okay guys, here’s the deal,” I spoke into our communicators. “I’m going to slip in, and see if I can make sure that something is really going on here. When, I mean, if I give the order, come in guns blazing.”

“With both barrels,” Lt. Blake responded.

I activated my stealth device on loan from S.E.R.A.P.H., and strode across the field, confident that the light bending around me was hiding me from view. Inside the Ranch editing building, I followed the voices I heard from within.

At the first room I came to, I peaked in. Two Rikti sat in front of computers, silently tapping keys. Suddenly, one of them screamed. “Calm down, it’s just a game,” the other said. “I know, but these zombies… Doom 3 is just really creeping my out. Reminds me of those aliens of Rigel 14.” They both shuddered and returned to their gaming. I pressed onward.

From the room at the end of the hall, I heard a strange humming, and flashing lights. Inside, George Lucas, a couple of men in suits, and a few Rikti were positioned around a set of terminals editing their film.

“I really think you should put in the ‘Have you hugged a Rikti today?’ message in during this scene,” Lucas said in his nasal voice. The Rikti nodded in agreement and began slipping subliminal frames into the footage.

One of the Rikti turned to face George. “You are very good at this.”

“I know,” George said, “how do you think I got people to say they liked Episodes I and II?” Everyone laughed, even me. When I noticed my mistake, it was too late. The family men started to move toward the door as the Rikti called out alarms to men stationed all over the site.

Not wasting a moment, I turned and ran. I clicked on my communicator as I moved. “Midichlorians. I repeat, midichlorians. Its a sham. Burn it down, burn it all down.”

I burst through the doors into the open field and bright daylight, speeding my way across to safe cover. Rockets and grenades streamed over my head and impacted the buildings behind me. As I dropped into the ditch by the roadside, I checked my recording equipment to make sure the camera in my glasses had gotten the footage I needed. Secure in that knowledge, I turned around and poked my head up over the edge to watch the QRT finish the job.

As the sun began to set, the Skywalker Ranch still burned, and the QRT rounded up the last of the Family they could find. “Looks like George survived and got away,” Zoe reported.

“And the Rikti?”

“Oh,” she said a little surprised, “Yeah, I guess they got away too.”

“What about the footage? The movie?” I asked.

She turned to one of her men, Officer Bryers answered, “Its toast. Pushed it down twice and made sure it was inedible.”

“You know,” Lt. Blake said after a long pause, “this won’t be the last time.” She had a grim look on her face.

I returned the same grim expression, “I supposed if the Rikti were up to trying something like this once, it might happen again.”

“The Rikti, right,” Zoe said, “them too.”

It wasn’t a total success, with some of the perpetrators evading justice. However, we were able to release the various Hollywood stars from their mind control. Except Halle Berry, who appearantly wasn’t under any sort of control, as it turns out, she’ll just make any movie they hand her the script for. Despite the lack of closure, I know that I can sleep better at night knowing that this is one pitiful excuse for a summer blockbuster that will never see the light of day.